Saturday, September 11, 2010

When I miss home

Today I miss home. I miss my family, I miss everything that I left behind almost a year ago. I miss places, I miss smells, I miss familiar faces... but, maybe more than anything I just miss the feeling of being home, the feeling of a deep sense inside that tells me: everything is gonna be alright, you are home now.
Yeah, is like dying a little every day. Being away from your country is knowing that you are in a different place, with different people and different food ... and you will have to get used to that. Getting used? I don't want to just get used to being here. I want to feel good, really good here. Yet at the same time it seems impossible to forget everything, I don't want to forget, I can't forget. I need to be home. When, OH God? When? I want to wait in you today. I want to trust you today. You are my home, you are my home, you... are my home. I don't want to ever forget that. I want to experience that you are everything I need. My guidance in the darkness, my helper in the midst of trouble, my pastor when I have no clue of what am I suppose to do. You are my shelter. YEs, I need to admit that I am afraid. I am afraid tonight. I am scared. I need you God, I need you dad. I need to hear your voice tonight. I need your embrace. I need your touch. Today I surrender all. Even though is hard I want to experience your love when I feel unlovable. I want to experience your love when I feel alone and scared. I want to experience your smile when I realize that I screwed up. I need you tonight and I need you always. Please come and renew me God. I want to experience you. I know that it doesn't matter where I am, where I come from, how I feel, what I did... you are my home all the time. You are here right now and I will be forever thankful. TE amo!

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